Is there anything better that feeling in love?
Unfortunately, everyone knows that it’s just a matter of time when we will get off of seven heaven. After the relationship lasts for several years, that feeling starts to go away somewhere between the job and housework and who knows where. That doesn’t mean that the madly in love couples don’t love each other anymore.
The difference is that their heart is not pounding as fast as it used to when they see them. All of this seems as someone with an invisible hand lowered the temperature of the relationship. English researchers came to a conclusion that this kind of situation is not a sign that a love should be sought somewhere else, but instead, this is the perfect time for renovating the relationship. How do you do that?
In the beginning no one should talk about what should we do.
That’s when all possible love idea come to our mind. We are able to listen our loved one with hours. But still, time comes when the attention towards our loved one is slowly decreasing and it’s like a part of the relationship is lost. That’s when small gestures are taking it’s part.
What should we do? Think about what kind of small thing will make them surprised and happy. A cup of coffee in the morning, SMS saying: “I am thinking of you”… Don’t say that they should be the one doing this, just the fact that you did it, will make a positive effect to your relationship! Don’t quit too soon!
Everyday communication is coming down to: “How was your day?” “Okay.” “Mine too.” “Would you mind doing the dishes later?” “Do I have to?” – boring and not right.
Reserve time for talking. Make sure nothing distracts you, for example the TV. Listen to each other, be careful, look into each other, ask questions.
In this kind of conversation you can use two techniques. During the conversation, remember how it was at the very beginning, what you did, think about what they love the most.
Bring back the memory of that time, watch them for several days and see what they are interested in. Talk about that. The other technique is to let you partner choose the topic of the conversation, and then resume it in couple of sentences. That way you both will learn to hear each other, instead of giving answers in your mind.
A little bit of fighting is not bad
If you had already had a fight, than you know the best part is at the end. To the couples that miss the feeling of being in love, usually stay away from fighting, “for peace in the house”, “for the kids” etc. A lot of couples look for compromise, without previously open up their feelings. A consequence
to this is the unhappiness of the anger kept inside. And the feelings kept inside are slowly suffocating us.
If a situation comes to let your feelings out, don’t stop. Let them out. Start yelling, and slam the door, because in that case it just doesn’t make sense to have a calm conversation. After this you will listen to each other, share arguments and find a solution.
The Language of love
When was the last time he said that he loved you? It just doesn’t comes to mind. Is it because there is no more love? No, that is a classical example of bad communication. Love is present, but some things overshadowed it. Men, almost every time say that there are different ways to express love, but women want to hear hear the magical three words, everyday if possible.
Psychologist say there are five main expressions of love: spending time together, taking care of your partner, body contact full of love, soft words and little gifts. If you are freshly in love, language of love is not a problem, but later it’s like people lose their ideas. And what’s even more wrong, they say that the other person is feeling the same.
What to do? Fill your thoughts with the sentence “I feel in love when..” When you get to know the needs and desires of your partner, you will react easier to your own and your partners feelings. And then you will feel in love.
At first sight, even though sex life is good, it could be better. Of course, not even close as it was at the beginning, when you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.
Sex became a routine that loses every creativity. Experts say that is not sex that’s missing, but intimacy. Closeness is missing, the games between the sheets that wake the sex desires.
What is intimacy?
Intimacy is to open up, to become vulnerable, to melt down and mix with the other, to feel the body closeness and out of the bedroom.
The routine can be avoided with trying new poses, new places to make love , to slow down or go faster..
Experts say to be close without worries, to spend more time laughing and making stupid things together, because things like this open up and make you free. Be gentle to each other, touch and kiss, not just before going to bed. Use the time when you are together in bed and talk about anything! That’s how you create intimacy. You will definitely feel the feeling that you felt at the beginning.