All you’re going to do is break your heart more.
Breakups can change everything. With the simple switch in a relationship status and the quick click of a blocked number, your whole life is different. No longer attached at the hip to another person, you’re free to be on your own — which can go from being totally great to completely devastating in no time.
When your expectations of the future don’t match up with your current reality, it’s easy to get scared. You thought the single life would be all late-night partying, self-discovering road trips and making out with hot strangers. So why are you curled up with a bag of Cheetos on a Saturday night watching This is Us?
That moment of realizing that being single isn’t as great as you thought it was when you were in a relationship can send you into a panic. It can make you question all your decisions leading to the breakup and wonder if you’ve made some horrible mistake in saying goodbye.
So you pick up the phone and unblock that number.
It’s perfectly understandable why people go back to their exes. When the first wave of loneliness hits in their newfound single status, they think back to how nice it was to have someone to call for comfort. Cuddles, cute texts and even just having someone to get ice cream with are built back up to these covetable things that you just gave up like they were nothing. Now, they’re everything.
When you’re alone with your thoughts, and your thoughts get negative, it can feel like the world is ending. It’s way too easy to talk yourself into a bad mood, and much harder to talk yourself out of one. But in these sad moments, it’s important to remind yourself of one thing before you unblock that number: You were unhappy then, too.
Maybe you forgot about it. Maybe you’ve pushed in out of our mind in favor of nicer memories. But you were sad, lonely, mad, mistreated, abused or just bored enough for things to end. Something was wrong with the relationship, be it the circumstances or the person, and so you broke up. No matter what the reason was, you have to remember that there was one.
If you do fall into your urges and call your ex, you can’t expect anything more than hurt. Either he won’t answer your call, you’ll realize he blocked you, or he’ll answer your call laughing, acting like nothing is wrong.
All you’re going to do is break your heart more. And you should never go back to what broke you.
So if you’re in that sad place and calling your ex sounds like a really good idea, try first to think about all the reasons it ended. Think about all the things you want that you just weren’t getting. Remember all the times you felt like something wasn’t right.
Then keep that number blocked and treat yourself to something nice. Because breakups suck and moving on is hard work. You deserve a treat for not going back.