Good kissing starts before you begin. Practice good oral hygiene, please. Basically, your kisses will suck if your breath stinks. And while chewing gum is an awful habit that tends to alienate those around you, particularly those you’re in conversation with, a quick gum chew in the lavatory can do wonders.
Perhaps a better solution is Altoids, which looks sophisticated, and which you can offer your date after dinner. This looks considerate; your breath is preserved. Mission accomplished.
Half of kissing is in the timing. Make sure the moment is right. How do you know the moment is right? You just… know. It’s something about the way he looks at you, the slant of the moonlight, and the weight of expectation that finally draws you together into a lip-lock.
Try to engineer it so that doesn’t happen in the front seat of a car, which makes for awkward maneuvering around the gearshift. In front of your apartment door is the best, out of the streetlight, or on the couch.
Then one of you has to initiate. Of course, you’d prefer if he did because then you know he wants to kiss you, and he prefers if you would, because then he knows you want kiss him. But if he doesn’t seem like he’s moving in and the moment is right, lean over towards him.
Position your head slightly to the side so you don’t bonk noses (this is instinctual) and touch the side of his face: index finger on his cheek, thumb under his chin, the rest of your fingers on the side. Draw him in towards you and take his lips in yours. Yours on top, his on top — doesn’t matter. The point is that lips meet.
Now you gotta move those lips. Take his lips in yours over and over, bottom and top. Do it slowly. Then catch his bottom lip between yours and run your tongue over it. This is his invitation to do the same thing to you. Keep licking and biting his lips until your tongues meet. That’s when the real fun begins.
Tongue play is where people tend to mess up kissing. They get too aggressive and end up trying to play the proverbial tonsil hockey or they’re too timid and scared to put their tongue in their partner’s mouth. You want a happy medium between the two.
Tilt your head farther to the side and open your mouth a titch wider. Then be bold: stick your tongue in your partner’s mouth. If he’s any good, he’ll take it as a clue to slowly close his mouth around it, so you have to withdraw. This feels very, very, very good. So good, in fact, that you should keep doing it over and over.
Then give him a turn. Let him slide his tongue between your lips, then touch it with your tongue while you slowly close your mouth and lean back.
After doing this for a while, you’ll want to go full-on tongue action. By now, you both have your mouths open wide. Slide your tongue into his mouth — or let him slide his into yours — and gently caress his tongue with yours.
The traditional method is rub your tongues against each other in circles. This is fun for a little bit, but then it gets to be too much. Return to nibbling on each other’s lips, taking each other’s lips between the other’s, and sliding back to release them. Turn your head and try it from another angle.
If at all possible, climb into his lap. Avoid breaking contact while you do. Then you can grind against him comfortably. In fact, you can grind against him while you’re standing up, if he’s the right height. Put both hands on his face. Alternate between that and running your hands through his hair.
And eventually, this has to either end (he goes home), or go somewhere (breast-groping begins as a preliminary to some sort of sex). It’s up to you how it goes.
He may pull away and say something like, “I should get going.” If he doesn’t, it’s a good sign he’s open to more than making out. And you need to decide if you are, too.