If you suspect that you’re in a parasitic relationship, then you must be worried that the person you’re dating, much like a parasite, is sucking you dry, robbing you of emotional strength, money, time, and everything else that is valuable to you. If you want to know if you are in a parasitic relationship, then you have to see if the following signs apply to you. And if you are, then you better get out ASAP.
1. Ask yourself if your partner has to do everything with you. It’s definitely possible to have almost everything in common, but it’s still healthy to do some things separately and have some solitude.
If every single time you step out of the house, even if it’s just to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy or to get coffee, you hear your partner say, “I’ll come, too!” then he or she may be a parasite.
If you suddenly notice that your partner is always doing the things you used to love doing alone, from morning yoga to taking a walk after dinner, then he or she may be a parasite.
If your partner also cannot do anything by him or herself, whether it’s to have a coffee date with a new acquaintance or to get an oil change, and is always asking you to come along, then you may be in a parasitic relationship.
2. Be cautious about paying for everything. Sure, everyone gets strapped for cash from time to time, but if you find that you’re the one always paying for dinner, movies, trips, gas, and the big things, like the person’s education, child support, rent and other bills, then it’s worth examining if this is an arrangement you’re comfortable with, and how your partner would respond if you, for example, lost your income. If the person you’re dating takes it as a given that you will take care of him or her, sit down and have a talk pronto.
The person might even say, “I’d love to go out to dinner, but you know I’m so broke this month.” This is a way of tricking you into paying while making you think it’s your idea.
Even if you have tons of money to spare, this should still be a warning sign. If the person you’re dating is so willing to take advantage of your money, he or she will also be just as willing to take advantage of your emotions.
3. See if you’re doing excessive favors for your partner. In a healthy relationship, partners take turns doing favors for each other whenever one person needs a little help. In a parasitic relationship, one partner is always doing favors for the other and getting nothing in return. If you find that you’re giving your partner rides everywhere, cooking all the meals or picking them up, running errands for him, and basically taking care of all the little things he or she is too lazy to do, then you may be infected by a parasite.
Though it may hurt, write two lists: one, a list of all the favors you’ve done for your partner, and two, a list of all the favors he or she has done for you. They don’t match up, do they?
4. See if your partner is upset any time you do your own thing. In any healthy relationship, both partners should feel comfortable doing their own thing. This can mean hanging out with your own friends, getting some quality family time, or just reading, running, or pursuing your own hobbies on your own time. If your partner truly loves and cares about you, then he or she should be happy when you pursue your own interests and grow as a person on your own.
If your partner is hurt, angry, jealous, or distant whenever you leave the house without him or her, even if you’re just grabbing coffee with your cousin Sally, then he or she resents your individuality.
If your partner checks in on you and asks when you’ll be home every five minutes when you’re out, then he or she may be a parasite.