If you’re having a problem in your relationship, you’re not alone. Most people have trouble in relationships at one point or another. You may need these tips for taking a break in your relationship if you have reached a point where the two of you need to evaluate yourselves and your partnership.
“Taking a break” doesn’t necessarily mean you will break up.
Sometimes the time apart will help you realize how much the other person means to you (or help them realize how much you mean to them).
It can reestablish the appreciation for one another and help you grow closer in the long run.
These are some basic tips for taking a break in your relationship that you should follow if you both agree that some time apart is needed.
1. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Taking a break is supposed to be easier than actually breaking up. If you are not missing your partner as much as you thought you might, be honest with yourself about it. If you are feeling less stressed out during this break, be honest with yourself about it. If you do not necessarily feel the urge to be together anymore, be honest with yourself (and your partner) about it. This break is supposed to be about reflection and if you are dishonest with yourself about how you are feeling, there was no point to the break in the first place.
2. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES
The most important of all of the tips for taking a break in your relationship is to set boundaries beforehand.
Are you allowed to date other people?
Will the two of you go on one date per week?
Are you both allowed to “hook-up” with others?
Lay down some ground rules now so that there aren’t hurt feelings, tears and distrust later on.
It may sound like an obvious tip, but many many couples go on a relationship hiatus without setting basic ground rules.
Don’t just discuss them, write them down or print them out and you each keep a copy so there are no “misunderstandings” as to what is acceptable and what is not.
3. STICK TO YOUR RULES
If you are going to set the rules, you have to stick to them.
If you decide one of you needs space and your rules state you will only see each other once per week, that means you only see each other once per week, you do not spend the night and stay together the following day.
You are taking a break for a reason and you need to give yourselves the time apart so you can think things through.
If the rules state you do not sleep with other people, that means both of you need to abide by that.
Don’t do it secretly and tell yourself it’s not cheating since you’re “on a break.” If the two of you, together, have decided not to do it, then it is cheating if you break those rules.
4. HAVE AN END DATE
Your break needs to have an end date at which time the two of you will sit down and decide whether your relationship is going to continue or end.
The timeline the two of you need to set is completely based on the problems in the relationship, but the end date should be realistic.
If you feel your partner needs to change a few things (anger issues, drug use, partying…etc) or if they feel you need to change things, taking a two week break is probably not going to be long enough to change the behaviors.
5. EVALUATE YOUR FEELINGS WHILE APART
While you are keeping your distance from each other, thoroughly think through all of the things that have been weighing on your mind.
Are your partner’s annoying habits worth breaking up over or can you get past them?
If you’ve been overwhelmed by your partner’s controlling behaviors, do you feel an immense sense of relief now?
You need to keep track of things that are better without your significant other as well as things that you truly miss about them.
Be sure they are things you miss about him or her specifically, not simply things you miss about being in a relationship.
For instance, cuddling and holding hands are things you miss about being in a relationship, while the way he kisses your forehead every morning or the way she packs your lunch for you every day are things that that person specifically does.