Before you rush headlong into this process, spend a few days thinking about what you are likely to do if or when your worst suspicions are eventually confirmed. Are you so committed to your partner that you would never bring an end to the relationship, whatever the outcome of your sleuthing? If so, then it may be better to turn a blind eye to their indiscretions and spare yourself the pain of knowing the sordid details. Is believing that your spouse is cheating on you in the first place an indication that there is something fundamentally wrong with your relationship, and you simply want an excuse to end it? In which case, it is on the rocks already, and it may be more productive devoting your energies to rescuing it or just getting out altogether.
And if you do decide to investigate, be prepared to deal with what you find, good or bad.
We all know that a strong relationship is based on love, trust and understanding. However, there may have been occasions, where you felt that your spouse was hiding things from you. Does that mean he/she is cheating on you? Follow these tricks to get the right clues to your question.
1. Think fast
You asked your partner a simple question “Why he/she comes late at home?” And, there comes the most elaborate reply on it. Not just this, they are also ready with a solid alibi, with friends to back them up on this. Bang on! Just Think, why your partner is trying to prove innocence over something so small? Also, honest people do not need their colleagues or friends to intervene on their behalf.
2. Setting Up Your Spouse
Break all trust and spy on your honey’s personal communications. Direct access of your cheating cherie’s phone can reveal a lot—especially texts and DM and email. You may find the texts that are sent give you more insight than the ones received. A regular check will give you an idea of how things are progressing. Watch out for the use of false names so that if an incoming message arrives at an awkward moment, the false name gives nothing away.
Check odometer: You can check and note down the mileage before and after the trip to see, if the distance correlates to where your partner says he/she has been.
Install a GPS device in their car: Get the Sherlock Holmes in you out, and install a GPS device in your partner’s car. Now, wherever they go, you will have your eyes on them.
Credit Card details: Look for the charges of hotels, shopping, boutiques, etc. Match the dates with the calendar to see, those items were bought for you or someone else.
Look at the clothes: Is there a sudden change in his sense of dressing? Is she doing too much of lingerie shopping? After all, it is a universal truth that you start taking care of your looks all the more, when you have someone “special” to impress!
3. Body language
We do not have control over our reactions as mostly our physical reactions come from our subconscious. So, when we ask something to them, the person subconsciously starts building words that would convince you the best. So, watch the facial expressions. Usually liars with their focus on cooking a good story are unable to hide their expressions. look for some certain Signs like Fidgeting, Starts scratching head, Makes no eye-contact, Grabbing a newspaper to hide face, Switches on the TV
4. Pay particular attention to your spouse’s friends.
Who is being seen the most? Who is contacted the most? Are they your friends as well? When you meet them, keep a real alert on for bad feelings when talking to them. Don’t ask direct questions of them. You don’t want to ask them to choose who to support. What people don’t say is at least as useful as what people do say.
5. Ask the ‘Question’ again
Sometimes we have smart cheaters around. They might get successful in convincing you with a story. To catch such people, after a period of time just ask your partner about the same details you asked before. This time you will see some inconsistency in the response. There will be new facts and different elements in the narrative. Watch out for ‘don’t you trust me?’ ‘Are you trying to say I am a liar?’, such lines are just to give you guilt traps, nothing else. So, think twice before falling for them!
6. Listen carefully
If your partner is hiding things then he/she will have a long, intricate story to tell you. A liar will go on and on giving unnecessary and unwanted details about the story. They will answer you in such a way that will leave no room for you to ask further questions. Now, here is the catch, if a person is honest, he/she will directly speak the truth. People who speak truth have no time to intricately weave in hundreds of little details.
7. Catch him in the act!
If you really believe your spouse is cheating on you, yet after monitoring phone calls, emails, and travel details, all you have is a gut feeling, than you need to make an essential decision about how far you are willing to go in pursuit of knowing if your spouse is faithful. Honestly ask yourself why you don’t trust your spouse. Do you have any reason, real or imagined, to believe your spouse is, or has been, unfaithful? It doesn’t have to stand up to legal standards of proof, but do you have anything to go on beyond your feeling or hunch? It is not uncommon for a partner to self-convince that there is a case of spousal infidelity based merely on circumstances that have been molded into the evidence needed to justify one’s own feelings, beliefs, and insecurities.
Get a good camera with a zoom lens and put a GPS tracker on your spouse (clothing/bag, etc.) or vehicle. Hide a voice activated recorder behind your bed.
If you don’t find proof of your spouse’s infidelity, you now have little reason to believe your spouse is cheating