So if you’re a woman who is looking for love, read on to know the 11 terrible mistakes women tend to make in a relationship and make sure you avoid these at all costs:
1. You just don’t make an effort to understand your guy
Unlike most women, men aren’t that hard to please. All they really need from a relationship is honesty, trust, and an acceptance of who they truly are. And in return, they will do everything in their power to maintain that beautiful smile on your face, to keep making you feel special, and to make sure that nothing in the world can hurt you.
But some of us get so caught up in making up lies just to please him, checking his phone, his Facebook account and even his emails 24/7 just to be sure he’s not cheating or even talking to another girl, and trying our best to change him into a version of him that we prefer most, that we forget to give a thought towards understanding the simple things he wanted from us.
Stop lying to him because you think you know what he wants to hear. Stop making him feel like you can never trust him by invading his privacy all the time. Stop trying to turn him into someone he’s not. And start placing some effort into actually understanding him.
2. You don’t actually appreciate the things he does for you
It’s not uncommon for women to feel automatically entitled to all the things their man does for them. Whether it’s taking you out to expensive dinners that may or may not be easy for him to afford, or picking you up and dropping you from any place any time regardless of his time constraints, or buying you random gifts just to let you know how much he adores you or simply taking care of you and protecting you in every way possible- it’s true that he does all of this out of love and that no one ever forced him to do any of this.
But it’s also true that some kind of acknowledgment and a bit of appreciation won’t do you any harm. In fact, it will only encourage him to do even more for you in an even more selfless way. And if you keep taking advantage of him in every way possible without ever returning the favor or without ever making him feel like you love and care for him the same way he does, it’s won’t be long before he finds someone else- someone who actually knows how to value him.
3. You don’t reciprocate the love you’re given
One thing that’s been ingrained in everyone’s mind since the day they were born is that the sole purpose of a relationship is to make you happy. While it’s true that this is in fact one of the purposes, it should never be the only one! The true purpose of a relationship is to find a person who you truly love- a person whose happiness is placed above all.
A relationship is always about give and take, and not just about taking without ever reciprocating the love and affection you’re given. It’s about always placing one another first. It’s about constantly nurturing, taking care of, and looking after each other’s needs. Sometimes, when a person keeps loving us unconditionally without ever asking for anything in return, we start taking them for granted. We start believing that all of this love and care will always exist regardless of our own actions. This isn’t true.
No matter how much he loves you, no matter how important you are to him, and no matter how empty his life becomes without you, he will eventually get tired of being the only person that actually cares about making this relationship work. He will decide to stop. And he will move on.
4. You try to tie him down too soon
When do you decide that it’s time to label yourself as a couple, to let the world know that you’re in a relationship, and to start expecting things from the person you’ve been seeing? After the first date, the first kiss, or the first time you go back to each other’s place? The answer to this isn’t very simple. You can’t have a pre-conceived notion of when you’re allowed to start tying another person down.
Every individual wants their space. Every individual wants some time to decide on the things they actually want in life. And every individual has a different perception of when a few casual dates turn into an actual relationship. So the best thing to do here is to discuss this with the person you’re seeing when you think the time is right, without ever imposing anything on him.
Don’t ever make him feel like he has been caged. Don’t ever decide on things without him. And don’t ever start expecting things that he never even agreed to in the first place.
5. You start over-relying on yourself
I am in complete support of all the independent women out there- the ones who are highly successful in their professional lives, the ones who are well-known for their confident and courageous personalities, and the ones who are completely sure that they don’t need a man to protect or provide for them. In fact, I aspire to be exactly like that. But one mistake that women like these tend to make is to start holding this attitude against the men in their lives.
When he tries to comfort you or help you out in your time of need, you accuse him of implying that you’re not capable of doing things yourself. When he starts to get too close and actually starts affecting the way you feel, you decide to distance yourself before you become too ‘dependent’ on his presence. And when he tells you he loves you for the first time, you think a thousand times before telling him you love him too out of fear that you might look too weak or vulnerable. What needs to be understood here is that loving someone doesn’t mean that you’re dependent on them.
Accepting someone’s help in a time of need doesn’t imply that you weren’t capable of doing things yourself. It only means that you have someone who supports you in every way, someone you can trust, someone you can rely on and someone you can afford to be weak and vulnerable with.
6. You don’t realize your own worth
Now this mistake lies on the opposite end of the first one. Do you find yourself running after guys who always treat you badly? Do you always feel scared of asking for the things you truly want in a relationship? Are you always attracted to the bad boys, the boys who are always unavailable, and the boys who will only be with you when it’s convenient for them?
Do you keep putting up with bullshit in the hope that ‘one day’, your love will magically change him? If the answer to all or even one of these questions is a yes, then you’re not alone. A lot of women have been raised to believe that the one true purpose of their life is to find a guy who will agree to spend his life with them, and in this pursuit, they do everything in their power to please the guys they meet without realizing their own worth, and without understanding that finding a guy doesn’t mean settling for the first asshole that comes around.
This kind of attitude will actually keep you away from all the good guys because the truth is that no sensible guy can ever respect and care for a girl who doesn’t even respect herself. Stop settling. Start realizing your own value. And don’t think twice before rejecting a guy who is clearly not good for you.