Here are 10 signs that indicate you’re forcing love where there is none
You never discuss your plans for the future. It’s almost like some sort of a taboo subject. Sure, you’re thinking about it, but he/she never speaks in terms of ‘we’ and ‘us’. It is always what he/she wants out of their life. You never seem part of the equation.
You generally do what he/she likes, you go out when he/she likes, you even work your career around his/her needs. You are so used to hearing ‘no’ for most things, you’ve grown weary of even thinking of what you would like to do. Sacrificing your happiness has become the norm in your relationship. You even quit hanging out with your friends because he/she does not approve. Perhaps he/she is jealous, perhaps insecure, but you’re slowly having to give your happiness up bit by bit and compromise on everything that is important to you to keep your relationship afloat.
There is a drama each time you do something that your partner does not approve of. It could even be the most trifling of matters, such as meeting up with an old friend. But your partner may build it up to a crisis and construct a story around it, that by the end of the entire argument you feel like he/she has built a brick wall around themselves that you find virtually impenetrable. And taking decisions in the future, whether or not pertaining to your relationship, has you feeling absurdly anxious.
It isn’t unusual to be so busy with work that one doesn’t find time to make plans. But when your partner is rarely, if ever, making plans with you, whether it is to pick a day for your next date, or make reservations, then that is not the sign of a healthy relationship. Making plans has simply been relegated to your shoulder…each time. And when you do make them by yourself, often he/she accepts, and other times just declines, and you know deep down you don’t have a good feeling about it.
Giving all of yourself to someone is easier said than done. Plenty of us tend to hold back just a little. But when you do finally give it your all in a relationship, your expectations usually rise simultaneously. You’re human after all. And when that trust is made light of, and your worth disregarded is when you know that you are simply compelling yourself to drag the relationship further.
Conforming yourself to fit the standards set by your partner is a recipe for a relationship not meant to be. It’s better to lose someone who wishes you to change for him/her, than to continue to force yourself to love someone while slowly losing bits of yourself over him/her. Trying to be someone you’re not in order to please another human being would eventually leave you with identity issues, a mass of regrets, and an exorbitant sum for the therapist’s bill.