The silent treatment– when someone refuses to speak to you purely out of spite, a desire to hurt, or simply to avoid dealing with an issue– can lead you to feel helpless or out of control. Take the initiative to open the lines of communication in a calm manner. Invite them to share with you and actually listen. Finally, don’t get caught up in your feelings. Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, focusing on relaxation, or ending the relationship if it’s unhealthy.
1. Apologize even if what you said was right. Apologize if how you said it came out wrongly. Love is not about proving who is wrong or right. What you need is for your spouse to warm up to you by you showing you are understanding. Say sorry as you give eye contact, but if you are being avoided, write a text or a letter, reach out.
2. Look back. What brought about the silent treatment? Something you said? Something you did or didn’t do? Misunderstanding?
3. Pray about it. Let God reveal to you how to go about it. Repent to God if you’ve done wrong. Pray that God makes your spouse’s heart moldable and receptive.
4. Relax. Know that tough times and challenges will be there. Don’t be irrational or frantic. Exercise patience.
5. Don’t over apologize. Do one good sincere apology then give your spouse time for the apology to sink in. Don’t nag.
6. Play music that calms and warms the heart. Play love songs, spiritual music in the house. Praise and worship God so that the presence of God feels the home. In the fullness of God there is fullness of joy.
7. Present yourself to your spouse, be around your spouse. Even if you two won’t talk, just be available.