There are a lot of reasons why men cannot understand women. Perhaps men will never truly understand the women in their lives. Here are things guys will never understand about women:
1. How quickly your bobby pins disappear.
Approximately 1.73 billion bobby pins disappear every year, yet you still can’t find any.
2. Why it feels so good to take off your bra at the end of the day.
This is why they should make little bras for testicles so they can keep them in this weird sweaty thing that you have to keep adjusting, and sometimes one of them falls out of it, and it also itches and pinches in a weird way. Then when they take it off after 10 hours, they too shall dance the dance of kings.
3. Why it takes so long to do eye makeup.
I want you to try to take a tiny pencil and draw straight lines on it very close to the lash line and then get both eyes to look exactly the same with no variation, and then you can ask me why.
4. Your relationship with your mom.
The tie between a mother and daughter is completely unique to men.
5. Why bras cost so much.
We don’t understand it either, so if you could pick up dinner tonight, that’d be great. We just had to buy two bras and now we can’t eat for four weeks.
6. Why buying jeans is Hard
I have often fantasized about what it must be like to waltz into a store and be like, “My waist is a size 27!” and they bring you a bunch of jeans that fit like a glove, but that is not a thing for women. Instead, we’re faced with a pile of jeans on the floor of the dressing room and breathing into a paper bag because who are we anymore if the pair of jeans that usually fits doesn’t fit our calves for some reason. What is this life?!
7. Why we need another shirt/dress/pair of shoes when we already have one that looks exactly like it.
I’ll admit this is a little silly but if we have a favorite striped shirt and then we wear it and we want to wear a striped shirt a few days later, we can’t because it’s in the laundry basket. Hence, my closet full of nothing but striped shirts. That actually doesn’t make any sense, but still.
8. Why you’ll say something is fine when it’s not fine.
I wish all women could be direct all the time, but we’re socialized from birth to be nice and polite and not get upset or be “bitchy,” which unfortunately can result in the occasional “I’m fine” while smoke comes out of our ears like a cartoon in the 1960s. Just accept this about us and also pay more attention to when we’re not fine, so you don’t have to ask that question.
9. Why women love chocolate.
Most everyone loves chocolate, but you never see men eating an entire box by themselves.