This article will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you’re the only one trying
Marriage is a dynamic bond between two people that requires attention and care. Initial passions and feelings can fade over time if they aren’t cultivated, especially in the face of stress caused by financial issues, professional demands, or raising a child. If your marriage is in a difficult time, don’t lose hope. It is never easy to deal with a situation when someone you once loved a lot is treating you as if you are no longer important for him or her.
However, if you really want to save your marriage, you need to think straight and get ready to make some moves. Here are a few suggestions.
1. Make an effort to figure out what went wrong.
You can’t move forward if you don’t know what’s keeping you back. Most relationships — and people — suffer from a few flaws, and perhaps those flaws are getting in the way of a healthy relationship. Your job is to take a long, hard look at what you think went wrong.
2. Figure out if what went wrong is something fixable.
It’s a perfectly natural response to try to save your sinking ship, but what if the ship is so tattered that it isn’t worth saving? No one can make this decision for you, but know that certain flaws in people or relationships might not be worth trying to save. Know that people rarely change. People often say they’ll change, but they rarely do. After they’re comfortable, they usually revert back to the people they were before.
3. Remember What Made You Fall in Love
In order to save your marriage, you will have to get back to basics first. Remember what it was like when you first fell in love. Think about all those reasons that made you fall for your partner in the first place. Write down all those things and read them several times to motivate yourself to do whatever you can to save your marriage.
4. Communication Is Key
You have to understand the importance of communicating with one another in saving your relationship. Even if you two have had a fight, it is important that you take the initiative and talk to your partner. Be sure to let the other person talk as well because listening is equally as important. Talking to each other will give you time to connect again and enhance mutual understanding so as to see things in each other’s point of view.
5. Do Not Shy Away from Making Some Compromises
How to save a marriage? Make sure you do compromise. Understand that you cannot have everything in a relationship, so there will be times when making small compromises would pay in a big way. How much both of you are willing to compromise will determine how far your relationship will go. When you two decide to bend a little to accommodate the needs of the other person, you will eventually be able to find a middle ground where both of you will be in a win-win situation. Therefore, it is important to communicate and be ready to compromise whenever possible to save your relationship.
6. Learn how to argue effectively, with humility.
Arguments in marriage are bound to happen. The couples that survive and build on their love are able to overcome personal hangups, put themselves in their partner’s shoes, and learn from their mistakes. If you want to save your marriage, both you and your spouse are going to have to learn how to argue the right way.
7. Say what you do and do what you say.
A relationship is all about trust. Trust is gained when expectations are met, and when actions are followed through on. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. A failure to follow through on your words causes your spouse to believe that your words aren’t what you say they are. This leads to a breakdown in trust.
8. Arrange a Date Night
If you would regularly have a date night where only you two get a chance to communicate with each other and spice things up, your marriage would never have serious problems. Even when you think that things are not going in the right direction, a date night can save it for you. Do not try to make it too extraordinary because it is all about setting some time aside to talk and relax. Along with those weekly or monthly date nights, be sure to have 15-minute non-logistical, personal talk daily to keep your marriage on the right track.
9. Switch up the environment.
Couples whose marriages are in danger often take trips, both faraway and close, because the monotony of life back home has them taking each other for granted. When the obligations of work, kids, and family go away, couples rediscover why they fell in love in the first place.
10. Find What You Have in Common
The idea is to find some common goals so you two could spend more time with each other. You may want to use the help of a marriage counselor to proceed in the right way. Sometimes, it becomes difficult to find what you two still have in common, but asking a counselor for guidance may help make things easier. It is also a good idea to talk to your partner about things you are going to experience in near future. For instance, if you two are planning to have kids, it is important to discuss who will be taking care of the kids and who will continue to work. Talking about such things in advance can save you from having serious issues later in your life.
11. Make Your Partner Feel Needed
Sometimes, you end up experiencing problems in your marriage because you do nothing to make your partner feel needed. Therefore, it is a good idea to offer a helping hand every now and then, and do not discourage them if they want to help you with something. Even if you know how to change a tire, making your husband think that it is something only he can do is only going to make your relationship stronger. That is because it makes them feel needed and have an important place in your life. This makes this tip very effective in solving the issue about how to save a marriage. Have doubts? Just have a try for yourself.
12. Actively listen.
Whenever your spouse is talking to you, practicing active listening can help your parnter to feel like he or she is being heard. You will be able to more fully engage in a conversation with your spouse by carefully listening to what your partner is saying and giving cues that you are paying attention