1. He never gets mad when you criticize him, because he understands what you’re trying to say. You can say something negative without turning a conversation into an argument.
If he’s talking about friction with his boss at work, you can tell him he should probably start getting to work on time, and he won’t go on the defensive. And he can do the same for you. There’s a mutual respect and and understanding when it comes time to be honest about the things that bug you.
2. He doesn’t try and change you.
He loves you for you, and he understands that even your weirder quirks are what make you who you are. If you need that Instagram of your burgers before he’s allowed to dig in, fine, he knows waiting the extra 6 minutes for you to get the perfect angle is how he shows his love. Sure, he might ask you to warn him next time there’s a photoshoot so he can eat a snack first, but that’s not the worst thing.
3. He listens when you just need someone to listen.
He knows when to just shut up and listen to you rant about work, or how you just can’t afford to be a bridesmaid again and can’t we just send them a toaster? Sometimes, you don’t need to hear words of encouragement, and he can tell when you just want to vent. He doesn’t need to fix everything to be there for you.
4. He knows when to support you, and when to leave you alone.
There are times when you need him there, and times when you just need him to get the eff out of the room so you can have some space. It’s important that he reads the situation and knows the difference.
5. He always knows the right thing to cheer you up.
He knows when to crack a goofy joke to make you laugh, or when you need to hear positive reinforcement, or when you just need some Chipotle.
6. He supports you when you need backup.
More importantly, he supports you no questions asked. You’re pretty sure he’d punch out his own dad if you told him he messed with you (but of course, you’d never ask him to punch his own dad).
7. He trusts you implicitly.
He doesn’t frantically text you if you’re out a little later than anticipated. He’s not jealous of your coworkers. There are never arguments. He’s confident in your relationship.
8. Don’t even try and mess with his gift giving skills.
He’s the kind of guy who will own your birthday by presenting you with the perfect thing based on some off-hand comment you made six months ago about how it would be fun to start making your own kombucha at home.
9. You don’t feel like you need to be constantly “on” with him.
With some people, you constantly feel pressure to behave a certain way and to meet their expectations. But you can let your guard down and be weird or cranky or tired with him. It’s not even a question that you can fart in front of each other. If you’re both still holding in your gas, there’s a problem with this relationship.
10. You can tell him anything and know he won’t judge you for it.
You’ve told him your most embarrassing drunken stories, or your weirdest hookups, or your homemade booger art project from the 5th grade and nothing phases him. There’s really nothing you can’t share together.